A Gift of Love

"It's time, my sister whispered, and I was instantly awake, my heart pounding frantically in my chest. It was 4: 00 A. M.,and 1 wondered how I could have ever slept so late. After all, it was Christmas morning. 1 should have been awake hours ago.

We crept down the hall as quickly as we could. In the back of the house, our parents slept peacefully. I had been waiting for this day all year, marking off the days on my calendar as they passed, one by one. I had watched every Christmas special on TV, from Charlie Brown to Rudolph, and now that Christmas morning was finally here, I could hardly contain myself. I wanted to laugh, I A/anted to play and, perhaps most of all, I wanted to rip open my presents.

As we approached the den, my sister put a single finger to her lips and whispered, "Santa might still be here. " I nodded in complete understanding. At six, I knew all about Santa and his -nagic. At eleven, my sister was trying to give me my dream.

When we finally walked into the den, my first instinct was to push toward the presents that were stacked oh-so-carefully around :he room, but something made me hesitate. Instead of rushing forward, I stared in wonder at the room, wanting this single moment to last as long as it could. My sister stood quietly beside me, and we stared at the beautiful tree that we had decorated together weeks before. The lights shimmered, the ornaments sparkled, and our golden angel sat just slightly off-center on the top of the tree. ^ It was the most perfect sight I'd ever seen.

On a nearby table, the cookies that we'd left for Santa were gone, and a small note read, "Thank you. Merry Christmas! "

My eyes widened in amazement at the note, for I was sure that I had finally found real proof of the jolly man's existence. Yet o before I could truly marvel over the letter, my sister was handing c me a small package. "It's from me, " she whispered with a shy smile.

With trembling fingers, I slowly opened the package, carefully preserving the green bow. Inside, I found my sister's favorite necklace. It was a small heart on a golden chain. She had received the present from our grandfather two years before. My eyes filled at the sight. Santa's note was forgotten.

She put her arm around me. "He was going to give you one r this year, but—" she stopped, and carefully wiped her eyes, "he just did not get a chance. " He had died on Easter morning—the heart attack had been a harsh shock to our family. Our mother still cried quietly when she thought no one was watching. My sister squared her slender shoulders with a brave air. "So, I thought you might like to have mine. "

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The Importance of Elm Trees to the Art of Thinking

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious—just dead wrong. Ask any seasoned cop or newspaper reporter. Ask anybody who has ever been the defendant in a misdemeanor trial or the subject of a story in a newspaper.

Well, let's grant Dr. Grattidge's opinion about being "basically an information-transfer process" is only 80 per cent baloney. If you're going to learn the importance of mistrusting information, somebody first has to give you some information and college is a place where people try to do this, if only so the professors can find out how gullible you are.

Knowing that, they can then begin to try to teach you to ask a few questions before buying the Brooklyn Bridge or the newest theory about the wherefore of the universe. I'm talking about the good professors, now, not the ones who spend all their time compiling fresh information to be transferred to the book-buying public. Even the good professors, however, rarely have enough time to teach the whole student body the art of doubting, which leads to the astonishing act of thinking. 2

This is why so much of whatever educating happens at college happens in places like the grass under the elm where somebody has gone to read a book, just because it seems like a nicer place to read than the library, and has become distracted by the shape of the clouds, or an ant on the elbow, or an impulse to say to the guy or girl crossing the quadrangle, "Let's chuck the books for a while and get a beer. "3 If it is autumn, and the campus has an apple tree, who knows? Maybe somebody half-asleep in an informational transference volume will look up, see an apple fall, and revolutionize science. Not much chance of that happening if you're sitting in a room staring at a TV screen plugged into the Educational Resources Center, is there?

In there you are just terribly alone, blotting up information from a machine which while very, very smart in some ways,' has never had an original thought in its life. And no trees grow, and no apples fall.

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On the Train

Certainly the train was old. The seats sagged like the jowls of a bulldog, windows were out and strips of adhesive held together those that were left; in the corridor a prowling cat appeared to be hunting mice, and it was not unreasonable to assume his search would be rewarded. '

Slowly, as though the engine were harnessed to elderly coolies we crept out of Granada. The southern sky was as white and burning as a desert; there was one cloud, and it drifted like a traveling oasis."

We were going to Algeciras, a Spanish seaport facing the coast of Africa. In our compartment there was a middle-aged Australian wearing a soiled linen suit; he had tobacco-colored teeth and his fingernails were unsanitary. Presently, he informed us that he was a ship's doctor. It seemed curious, there on the dry, dour plains of Spain, to meet someone connected with the sea. 3 Seated next to him there were two women, a mother and a daughter.'' The mother was an overstaffed, dusty woman with sluggish, disapproving eyes and a faint mustache. The focus for her disapproval fluctuated0: first, she eyed me rather strongly because, as the sunlight fanned brighter, waves of heat blew through the broken windows and I had removed my jacket—which she considered, perhaps rightly, discourteous. Later on, she took a dislike to the young soldier who also occupied our compartment. The soldier and the woman's not very discreet6 daughter, a buxom' girl with the scrappy features of a prizefighter seemed to have agreed to flirt. Whenever the wandering cat appeared at our door, the daughter pretended to he frightened, and the soldier would gallantly shoo8 the cat into the corridor; this byplay gave them frequent opportunity to touch each other.

The young soldier was one of many on the train. With their tasseled caps set at snappy angles, they hung about in the corridors smoking sweet black cigarettes and laughing confidentially. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, which apparently was wrong of them, for whenever an officer appeared the soldiers would stare fixedly out the windows, as though enraptured by the landslides of red rock, the olive fields and stern stone mountains.

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Two Types of Voting System

Voting is a method of making a decision in which each person involved indicates their own choice, and the choice which most people support is accepted. A voting system is a system in connection with an election, including the intention for an election, the happening in an election, and the result from an election. In Britain, the voting system is associated with a general election and a local election. Every voter casts one vote in a secret ballot for the candidate they wish to support. The vote is normally made in person at a polling station.

There are mainly two types of voting system or electoral system. They are the first-past-the-post system and the proportional representation.

In the first case, the candidate with the most votes is elected and will become the representative of a particular district. "First past the post" is originally a colloquial phrase from horseracing. A post marks the finishing point on a horseracing track. The first horse which passes the post is the winner. People often use sports terms to describe the events in an election, for both activities are competitive. "First past the post" is used mainly in British English to describe an election. The first-past-the-post system in political elections is the system in which the winner is the person with more votes than any other candidate, even though the winner may receive only a small proportion of the total number of votes.

In the second case, the final result depends on the percentage of the vote that each party received in an election. Proportional representation is a system of voting in elections in which each political party is represented in the parliament in proportion to the number of people who vote for it in an election. In Britain, there is no proportional representation, as in some other countries.

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The Rosy Moon

When he won a prize in the Province's calligraphy contest, Mr. Luo felt dated as if a gold ingot had fallen on him from the sky. The world instantly became ecstatically rosy in the eyes of the 23-year-old winner. At the moment, Ire was smoking a cigarette while judging Miss B's photograph in a glass lame with a calligrapher's eye. He found that she was by no means pretty md she was the one who almost became his wife!

Look at her lips, he thought. How thick they are! Ugly beyond words! People could ask, then, how come a young calligrapher should choose to marry a »ld drink peddler? It isn't a good match! Well, fortunately, the prize came n time, or it would be too late if we had gotten married. I must shake her off ae! But some other people would certainly gossip about it, those who like to icke their noses into everything! I won't be scared. Times have changed. To icll with all those solemn vows I've made to her! I am now a calligrapher ngaged in art. What does a cold drink peddler know about art? After all, I m like a coarse china plate that used to be put together with those common lates for daily use until one day an archeologist discovered that it was an antique. Well, then, when it's placed with other precious antiques in the museum, all the common plates will have to bow low to it. Jealousy, naturally, ivill come with admiration. For that's the way things are.

rhus Mr. Luo took the picture of Miss B from the frame and threw it away, feeling well justified. In its place he put in a color stage photo of Miss A, and rent on dreaming.

^e? With her charm and grace this woman must be the one that makes a latch for me now. To Mr. Luo, the woman used to be a fairy queen whom e could only look up to and admire at a distance. But now that he felt imself to be the prince of art....A fairy queen and a prince, what a perfect latch!

:e took up a writing brush and began to write.

I am now a calligrapher...." It was a letter of fire to pretty Miss A.

he second letter was to Miss B the thick-lipped:

I am now a calligrapher...." It was a letter of ice.

e then dropped both the fire and the ice into the mailbox.

a shed by the river, Miss B wept bitterly. She crumpled the letter, threw it to the river, and then went on with her work.

a small house on the river bank, Miss A let out a contemptuous laugh :er reading the letter, crumpled it and threw it into the river. She then med to her study of a script.

te two crumpled letters floated slowly down the river and disappeared.

ben evening came, Mr. Luo sat by the river smoking a cigarette, and gaz-[ at the water with the eyes of an artist. There reflected a rosy moon in the ter. In the moon there was a golden palace, and out of the palace flew the inning and elegant Chang Er, the moon goddess....

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Glenntown should establish a program to give a small pet such as a dog or cat to all of its citizens who are over the age of 65

The trouble is that, even though Glenntown is willing to give, it is not that all older people are qualified to take or willing to accept. // First, people who are over the age of 65 but do not enjoy good health can not help themselves, and must therefore be practically unable to take care of a pet. In that case to give a pet to them would mean that they have to watch their family people attending to themselves and also taking care of their pets, or hire additional nurses to do the extra caring. This will only make them feel sadder and more helpless, and thus make things worse. These are people who are in no position to have that marvelous pet. / As for those who are physically able to attend a pet themselves, some of them may have got no liking for it, or like other people's pets

but are not used to living with one under the same roof, or may get scared at the sight of a pet, especially the dog. People's feelings about and attitudes toward pet animals are just as varied as about and toward their fellow creatures, in fact. And this is hardly surprising; since they have got so many strange likes, they should not be blamed for their unusual dislikes and fears. / Still, for those who are both able and willing to attend a pet, some may have been advised by their doctors not to keep one for medical reasons. They may either have been informed that some people develop skin problems as a result of touching or coming near to a cat, or have shown signs of developing such problems themselves. For these reasons, they never think of pet animals, not to mention try to have one. // A pet to "all" older people is, to say the least, unrealistic.

But this is not to say that the argument is not without its merits. // First, it is true that attending an animal can promote good health in those who are able and willing to attend it. With a pet you have to look after, you have to do more work. Dog keepers, for instance, have to rise earlier, for dogs have not got the bad habit of sit-ting up late and remaining in bed when the sun is already shedding sunshine into the room. Also, a dog would now and then demand for a walk, so that you get a good walk while you are walking the dog. When you keep doing so, you are sure to become physically healthier. / Second, a pet functions to make you a kinder, more helpful, and more loving person, for any moment at the sight of that utterly dependent, helpless, but extremely loving thing, you are roused to attend, to help, and to love, all in return. And the ability to do all these, although it remains a question whether it will cause you to "have lower rates of high blood pressure and arthritis," will give you better confidence and raise your spirits, and thus cause you to be mentally healthier.

Considering the merits and demerits of the argument, I suggest making a change in what Glenntown's local newspaper proposes; Let Glenntown give a pet only to those older people who are physically able to look after it, willing to take it, and medically fit to have it. It is these people that the pet will help enjoy good health and have fewer medical bills.

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Development of a Relationship

Cultural priorities differ about how much time is spent on each phase; for example, Chinese spend much longer on phases 1 and 2, while Canadians want to get to phase 3 more quickly. •

In the first phase, where the relationship between negotiating teams is being established, trust is the critical factor. In cultures where relationships have high priority, time may be spent in nonbusiness activities so the negotiators can get to know each other. Sight-seeing and a welcome banquet are two typical activities in Chinese business interactions with foreigners. In Argentina the visiting team may be treated to an elaborate cocktail party in someone's home or to a barbecue, called a parrilla, in a home or restaurant; again, at the successful conclusion of negotiations, the teams may enjoy a celebratory meal, usually less formal in dress.

One way to establish a relationship is to identify the common goal both sides have in reaching an agreement. Once the desire or need for the other side to come to an agreement is on the table — in words — along with your desire, you can both refer openly to the common goal.

In order to develop trust, you need to have openness in your communication and to experience openness from the other side. This usually involves some gentle questioning by each side to see how willing the others are to reveal themselves. Often the answers are already known to the questioners, and the probes are not so much for gathering in-formation as for testing the openness of the other side. Usually each side displays apparent candor in these exchanges; whether it can be trusted or not is what each side has to determine.

Face is an important consideration in developing a relationship with someone from a high-context culture, especially someone from Asia:

Face may be lost as a result of many developments: a premature or overeager overture that is rebuffed by one's opponent; exposure to personal insult, in the form of either a hurtful remark or disregard for one's status; being forced to give up a cherished value or to make a concession that will be viewed by the domestic audience as unnecessary; a snub; failure to achieve predetermined goals? the revelation of personal inadequacy; damage to a valued relationship. The list is endless, for in the give-and-take of a complicated negotiation on a loaded subject, anything can happen.22

Since face can be lost even without the awareness of the other party, negotiators need to take care. Asking questions that seem designed to expose weakness, or making comments that assume familiarity, or giving responses with the wrong degree of coolness can all lead to loss of face for the other party and, with it, loss of trust.

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A Moonlit Night

Night came. The lovely crescent moon hung up in the sky, throwing its silver light on the ground. The moon had round cheeks, looking beautiful, mysterious and charming. The birds had gone back into their nests. The fragrance of the sweet osmanthus floated in the air.

The moonlight shone through the clusters of tiny leaves and dotted the ground in the woods with small faint spots. On the winding path were walking two lovers. He looked back repeatedly at her. She held up her eyes and glanced at him, with a graceful and bashful smile. They exchanged remarks in a tone full of tender feelings. When they came to the end of the woods, they began to walk shoulder to shoulder. Soon their hands met and clasped each other. Slowly they disappeared in the thin night mist.

What a silent and pleasant night! What sweet lovers!

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Gift Giving

Many companies have specific rules for gift giving in a business context. They may have items on hand that managers can use for gifts; calendars, pens, clocks, and golf balls are popular items. In giving business gifts, businesspeople from the United States also must be aware of legal restrictions based on the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, which outlaws bribery and strictly limits the value of gifts one can give and accept. The official company rules on gift giving may not specify what to do if an employee is invited to attend a social event such as a dinner party.

Cultural Rules for Establishing Relationships.

In many cultures it is appropriate to take small gifts when one is invited to enjoy hospitality. In Northern Europe a fitting gift is flowers or chocolates for the hostess. A bottle of wine, especially in France, could, however, be viewed by the host as an insult, indicating that he or she does not serve good wine. In Germany roses and chrysanthemums are not considered appropriate. Roses are for lovers, and chrysanthemums are for funerals. Flowers also must be in uneven numbers and are taken out of the paper be-fore being presented, unlike the custom in Great Britain.

In Japan gifts are important. Twice a year, at New Year's and in July, people present gifts to work associates, friends, and family members. These two times coincide with the payment of the twice-annual bonus.

An unwritten protocol dictates what is appropriate. Levels of hierarchy are observed closely. People know what to give to a subordinate or a boss. Importance is attached not only to what one gives but also to where the present was bought. A present from a prestigious and expensive department store counts for a lot more than does the same present bought at a small neighborhood store. However, the Japanese are beginning to change their behavior somewhat and are becoming more price-conscious, increasingly buying gifts at discount stores. But a gift bought at Mitsukoshi in the Ginza, for example, still carries a certain degree of prestige. A Japanese business professor presented a visiting professor from Belgium with several gifts: books, teacups, and a fan, all nicely wrapped. As he gave the presents, he pointed out that they came from the best department store in town. Purchasing gifts for coworkers can become a financial burden; therefore, several companies have started to set rules that abolish gift giving in the office. A few years ago such a rule would have been unthinkable because gift giving was part of life. However, times have changed, and increasingly people are reluctant to spend money on gifts for people to whom they don't feel close.

The problem for an outsider is to determine what is appropriate. If one is not familiar with the ritual, one is at a loss about what to select. Japanese businessmen appreciate gifts of whiskey. Given the price of whiskey in Japan, however, a foreign visitor may want to secure the gift outside Japan. Nicely packaged food items, such as fruit and meat, are welcome gifts too. Personal items are taboo; gifts should be neutral.

Packaging also is an issue. Elaborate wrapping is considered very important in Japan, less so in the United States and Canada, and even less so in Great Britain. Because of packaging laws in Germany, for example, wrappings may disappear completely. The law requires stores to take back any packaging that is considered superfluous. Under this provision, a store has to keep the toothpaste carton and cartons for six-packs of soft drinks and beer. Germany, which already restricts the amount of household garbage, is contemplating charging garbage collection fees by the pound of garbage. In this situation a host may not appreciate elaborate wrapping of presents.

In the United States the recipient of a gift is expected to open the gift immediately upon receipt. Doing otherwise would show a lack of interest and appreciation; it would be rude. Children are taught early on to open gifts and acknowledge them with elaborate praise: "How wonderful; just what I always wanted!" Germans open presents too but are more reserved in their comments. The Japanese and Chinese, in contrast, never open presents while the giver is around. This would be very rude because of the potential loss of face for the giver and even the receiver. Parents take great care to emphasize appropriate behavior with their children. One Chinese mother explained that it was hard at times to ensure that her daughter would not jump to open the present. It was difficult, but for obvious reasons it was necessary. Chinese or Japanese who are familiar with the custom in the United States may go ahead and open presents from foreigners. If you are not certain, the best approach is to explain the custom of your culture and ask if it is acceptable to open the present. Most people understand that customs are different in different countries. They may find it strange, but they will appreciate the fact that the foreigner asks.

In the United States it is typical to ask whether one can bring anything when being invited. The hostess will say no unless she knows the guest very well. It all follows a ritual in which the actors know their roles. The institution of potluck dinners where everyone brings a dish is unheard of in Europe. If one invites, the assumption is that one can prepare the food and generally handle the work associated with entertaining. In China it is unthinkable to bring something for dinner. The host is gaining face by offering hospitality to guests and is storing obligation debts to his credit.

The way people from different cultures express appreciation for hospitality varies. In the United States a businessperson who is invited for dinner to the private home of a business contact is expected to write a thank-you note shortly after the event. The Japanese tend to not write thank-you notes. Giving and showing hospitality are part of reciprocity. It is an ongoing process that never ends. To thank someone with a thank-you note could be interpreted as a signal that the writer wants to settle the "debt" and close the relationship. Germans hardly ever write thank-you notes. They say "thank you" at the end of a visit. They are sincere in their appreciation, but they don't send notes.

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A Potent Magic

How happy and proud the first praise I got made me feel! I was seven, and my father asked for help in the garden. I worked as hard as I could, and was richly rewarded when he kissed me and said, "Thanks, son, you did very well. " His words still ring in my ears.

At 16, I was in a personal crisis arising from differences with my music teacher. Then the renowned pianist Emil von Sauer, Liszt's last surviving pupil, came to Budapest and asked me to play for him. He listened intently to me and requested more. Finally, von Sauer rose and kissed me on the forehead. "My son," he said, "When I was your age I became a student of Liszt. He kissed me on the forehead after my first lesson, saying, 'Take good care of this kiss — it comes from Beethoven, who gave it to me after hearing me play. ' I have waited for years to pass on this sacred heritage, and now I feel you deserve it. "

Nothing in my life has meant as much to me as von Sauer's praise. Beethoven's kiss miraculously lifted me out of my crisis and helped me become the pianist I am today. I in turn will pass it on to the one who most deserves it.

Praise is a potent force, a candle in a dark room. It is magic, and I marvel that it always works.

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